Melodie A. Moore

   If you think I have a sense of humor, I guess I was destined to have one. My parents, two older brothers, younger sister, and I lived in a hollow, complete with an outhouse. Neither my dad, nor my mom, knew how to drive a car. It wouldn't have mattered anyway, because they didn't own one.

   On the day I was born, my father ran out of the hollow, borrowed a bike, and rode to a bar in town called Cox's Place. No, he didn't get drunk; he got my Great Uncle Nelson and his 1954, powder blue Pontiac. Dad's uncle, Nelson Cox, drove Dad back up the hollow. My father, George, took his time putting my mother in the front seat between my Great Uncle Nelson and himself. The two men kept insisting they had plenty of time, while my mother insisted she didn't. I guess two against one didn't seem quite fair, so when a bump in the road came along… so did I.

   The story I got was… everyone in the car was crying. My mom, Marilyn, because she was in pain; me, because my dad was holding me upside down by a leg to keep me from hitting the floor; Unkie, because his upholstery was being ruined; and my dad, because he had to pay for the entire mess!    By the time we got to the hospital, Mercy Hospital, everyone was either praying for mercy, or exclaiming, "Mercy!" A nurse came to the car and finished the delivery of me. Since I was born in a Pontiac, not in a hospital, I was not allowed in the nursery. This did not sit well with my grandmother at all. Everyone in the hospital knew it did not sit well with my grandmother at all! They were all begging for, or shouting, "Mercy!" as well.

   No doctor ever had a hand in my delivery, but for some reason the doctor had his hand in my dad's pocket. It seemed everyone had something, somewhere, that day, where it just didn't belong!

   My dad named me Melodie… Melodie, as in "Merrie Melodies," after the Warner Brothers' cartoons and his favorite voice over actor, Mel Blanc. Thank God we already had two Marys in the family tree, or I would have been Merrie Melodie Moore. As is, I am Melodie Ann Moore. Since Melodies is the plural of Melody, my name is spelled wrong! I wonder if anything went right that day. My initials are MAM. Yes, Ma'am, people call me MAM quite often. It seems the older I get, the more often people mistake my initials for my name.

   My car tags read M Ann M's. That is sweet. Okay, that makes me M Ann M. I think I am pretty plain, but my friends say I am nuts! In fact, my best friend, Erma, is always pointing at me and saying to the patrons in her beauty salon, "She ain't right!" I have only claimed to be right, when I am not wrong! (or left)
   I have never claimed to be too bright, and by George, my father never did call me son!
   Oh well, if I can't be right, or too bright, at least I can be one Moore!
   To the end, my friends keep asking me, "One more what?" Or could that be, watt? You know, like a light bulb. Associate! Does your memory shine like a spotlight, or do you not challenge it enough to keep its battery charged? I hope you all shine brightly!